Day of Laughter, Night of Love
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Answer to the AO3 challenge. Innuendos, lemons and laughter abound. This is a Babe. Please let me know what you think. RATED M FOR A REASON!


A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

This is my submission for the 1,000 Island Olympic Smut Off challenge. Let me tell you the words we we're given to choose from made this difficult. The words I chose will be in bold font. Let me know what you think... If you are easily offended turn back now. It is an established Babe HEA.

Smut, innuendos and laughter warnings apply...you have been warned.

Day of Laughter, Night of Love

Somehow I got stuck with Woody on surveillance today. Normally I dread it, he always drives and is in charge of the music. I like 80's and metal, he likes country. Not just any country, the oldies. I groaned when I saw him pull out a CD to put into the player.

"I think you'll like this one, Bomber." He said with a grin.

I heard the music start and knew it would lead to a headache. As soon as the lyrics started I lost it, laughing hysterically.

 _You piss me off_

 _You fucking jerk_

 _Get on my nerves_

 _Weeeellll...here comes Johnny with his_ _ **pecker**_ _in his hand, he's a one balled man and he's off to the Rodeo_

By the time the song was over I had been laughing so hard that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Told ya," he said with a smug smile.

We stopped at the local **creamery** on the way back for an ice cream cone. My treat since he had found some music I could tolerate when with him.

When we got back to the office I was sent into another round of hysterics when I overhead Lester talking about his latest conquest.

"...her **love box** gripped my **love rocket** like a vice, I'm telling you man, she could probably pick up a roll of quarters with that thing..."

He looked up in horror when he heard me laugh.

"Sorry, Bomber..." he started.

" **Love box**.. **love rocket**...quarters," I choked out on a laugh. He turned bright red and sputtered.

I walked to my cubicle chuckling the entire way. I got to work and began do open an email from Tank. Apparently there was something wrong in one of the conference rooms. I open it and lose it again.

 _Attention to all Rangeman staff;_

 _We are currently having problems with the_ _ **ejaculatory scream**_ _in conference room 3. So, please be advised that meetings will not be held in that room until the_ _ **angle of it's dangle**_ _has been corrected_

 _Tank_

 _sent from iphone_

I can only guess that he meant the projection screen was dangling, instead of being firmly in place. My laughter caused the room to look like it was filled with prairie dogs, as heads began popping up over cubicle walls. Tank came up behind me and put his large hand on my shoulder.

"What's so funny, little girl?" He asked.

I showed him the email he sent out office wide.

"Shit, he's gonna hand me my ass over this one."

I could only shake my head, because I was laughing so hard. I had to run for the bathroom before I peed myself.

I hadn't seen my husband all day. He had client calls to take care of and was meeting me on seven for dinner. Ranger and I were staying there instead of the house tonight, because we had an early morning flight to Miami.

I was setting out our salads and the roast Ella helped me throw in the crock pot this morning, when he walked in. He gave me a quick kiss and went to change out of his suit before dinner.

When he came out and sat down, I handed him a biscuit. While he was **buttering the biscuit** for me, I was putting **1,000 island dressing** on my salad and it plopped out with a sploosh. I offered it to him, but knew he would never taint the temple with it.

"So, Babe I heard you had an interesting day." He said with a mega watt smile that made my panties moist.

"You have no idea, Batman."

"I particularly liked the **ejaculatory scream** email from Tank. Although, I would rather show you the **angle of the dangle of my love rocket and put it in your moist love box.** "

I moaned, how could he take such goofy words and make them sound so sensual. He made my doo-dah tingle with his low rumble of words.

With a low growl, he picked me up from my seat our meal forgotten. He quickly had me up on the table and was yanking my shirt over my head. He was attacking the spot behind my ear that made me groan as he undid my bra.

He pulled back and removed his own shirt. He pressed his lips back to mine; I tangled my hands in his hair. I was lifting my hips as he worked his magic and removed my pants. Kissing and nipping his way down my body. His mouth light a path of fire all the way to my core. He sent me over the edge as soon as his mouth touched me there plunging his tongue into me as I yelled out his name.

I didn't even notice he had removed his pants until he was thrusting into me, hard and fast. We were both soon overcome, groaning out in ecstasy.

We when finally came back to the world around us, I gave him a silly smile of my own. He raised an eyebrow in questioned.

"At least you aren't a one balled man," I told him with a laugh.

"Babe," was all he said while shaking his head.

A/N Can you tell I had fun with this one?


End file.
